Today is a really good day. It feels like so many things are lining up the way that they should and I am really feeling at peace. It felt like I had the best sleep I have had in months, even though I didn't get too many hours. Getting up this morning was so easy, lol! I hope things stay just as they are... or get even better of course.
It was so exciting to see that when I Google my name, DeAndre Deas, so many things come up for me. It used to be that I had to search through several pages before something that was actually about me popped up. Now all the first things you see are me, even when you click on the images tab. A whole bunch of sick pics pop up and I love it :-) lol. But it really is exciting to see that I am growing and making a name for myself. Progress is always a good thing.
Like I said, I really am in good spirits and feel a lot better. Doing what I need to to make me happy and keeping more control is really working out for the best! So far I have no regrets, only smiles. The only person I owe anything to besides myself is God and we got a great understanding. So like I always say, if you want to be happy then be happy. Only you can make that decision, no one else can make it for you. They can make you pissed with them but not yourself and the world... so just smile and be happy!
I'm so glad to make it to a brand new day. I woke up not feeling to well but I feel a whole lot better. I been listening to Rihanna's new album this morning and I must say that it is something nice!! She got some real dope music and I love how she is growing so much as an artist with each project she puts it. No matter how much you hate her... you know the girl is doing her thing.
But yea I didn't feel too good. I think it was something I ate yesterday and I was having an allergic reaction to it. I felt so weird and my throat was really aggravated. It's good to know when you are loved by someone. When they can get out the bed, in freezing cold weather, to run up the road and get you Benadryl... that's some love there! Lol, so I want to say that I really do appreciate and love you. Not many people care for others like that and that's something very special to have. I am feeling much better and have been slowly waking up :-)
The only thing I'm not feeling is going to that second job tonight. I don't feel like the headache of those people but I'm going to make it work. I don't know why I still work there... I guess I just don't want to quit. I like making money and having something extra to hold on to. I guess I just need to switch things up and find anther outlet to make that and get rid of this stress. It really isn't worth it but I try to make things work. (That's one of the things I need to let go of to make sure I stay where I want to be with my happiness.)
Overall everything has been going great. A lot of new doors opening and promising opportunities in the future. The trip was successful and something well needed. I can say I'm glad to be home though. Now it's back to reality and back working all these jobs... fun times!!
So I slept and tried to get myself feeling a lot better, and you know what I didn't Not because I was stubborn and didn't want to but because I realized there was nothing for me to get over. I just saw things last night for what they were and that's ok. Just because things don't seem right to me and they make me feel "off", I don't have to apologize for that. I just live my life accordingly and continue to smile.
I am always happy and feeling good so I can't let anyone or anything take that away from me. Life is what you make it and not what others give you. I realize that more and more everyday and I think that it is a great thing. I haven't talked to my mom in a lil bit but today we had the best conversation we have had in a long time! She made me feel so much better and I can't thank her enough! It made me get my head back in a good place and that's awesome. So I'm going to act like good ole DeAndre but again, I am more aware and will not be trying to please the world. Like my mom said... just make sure you choose your journeys correctly. Thanks mommy!!
So this is becoming more and more true. No matter how much good you do for people, something still can come and bite you right back in your butt. It's all good though. I just know that I need to start doing more for me and my fam, rather than everyone around. I guess that's the problem you get when you have such a giving spirit.
I don't want it to seem like I'm going to become cold or negative; that's not the case at all. I'm just going to be much more aware and look at all the benefits in the end, It will now way much more heavily my way rather than me trying to distribute it equally across the board. I don't want to do something or go somewhere... I won't. I don't want to something to happen then it won't. It's time to take control and like my girl Nene say "get my happy back", lol. I know that it sounds hilarious but it's oh so true!! If you really think about that thing it makes much sense. So I know what I got to do and the person who I want to become... changes will be made. I know who to cater to and to not worry so much about now.
See, I'm doing much better! I didn't take several months to come back... that's progress baby!! Lol. So I have been having a very relaxed time out of NY but I'm ready to do some things today!! I need to get to the beach like yesterday... want to go shopping... and just do some exploring. Time to make it happen.
V has really hooked me up. My skin is feeling so soft and really clear. I think it made me a little lighter too, lol. I can't really tell if it's just in my mind or actually happening, but I'm thinking so. I'm really trying to keep all that together and I got to hit the gym today. I been taking it easy the past few days but still need to stay o track. It's my time to take over so can't stray from my dream!
I'm feeling really good today so this isn't going to be a long one. I got to get everyone out of here so we can get some things done! Todays gonna be a good day. Live everyday to the fullest!!
Wow, another year. I can't believe it that I made it this far and this is only the beginning. I look at where I was at a year ago today and I can say that God has truly blessed me! I never could have imagined I would be living the life that I am now but all I can say is I am very grateful. Modeling, personal life, and work are all just falling into place and I can really see that 2012 is going to be my year! I'm claiming that already.
So this holiday season I must say was one of the most dullest I ever had in my life but it doesn't take away from the fact that everything is going great. I just wish that I was able to see more of my family and not be so far from everyone. It was cool though, I just worked like crazy since I had nothing else to do. So these next coming paychecks should make me feel a little better! Lol. Naw, but money doesn't replace family and I can't wait to go and see them all.
So new year means new things going on in my life. I am about to start doing more for me and get back focused on the dream that I had set in my path. I can no longer be distracted and let other things take priority in my life. Modeling is going great, picking up more jobs and recognition... I got to grab this thing by the horns! I also start my acting classes on January 16th, so that's a new venture I can't wait to dive on. Later in the year but definitely not too late I want to start taking dance classes again and get back into that world. Maybe a little Broadway is in my future, who knows? I promise you... 2012, I'm making sure that everyone knows who DeAndre Deas is. We had a great start in 2011 but we about to make this thing happen!!
So for the new year I'm more about keeping all my stuff together. My facial that I got was so awesome and felt so good, I will start getting those every 2 weeks. Not only does it feel great but my skin looks freaking amazing!! Lol. So that's definitely a investment in my career. I'm also working out everyday... not necessarily just hitting the gym but I am getting it in every single day. I'm going to walk Princess in the park, Rollerblade through central park, eventually bike, swim, and hit the gym for workouts and group classes. I already started yesterday by going to the gym and taking Princess to a dog run. I want to keep my body toned and looking good so I have to put the work in. Definitely can't take it easy this time, I'm on a mission :-)
All in all 2012 will be a great year. I'm going to be more focused and driven this time and make sure that everything goes alright. Life is already great but I want to make it greater!! Also giving a shout out to my aunt Deborah Norman... Happy birthday! I love you and wish you many many more!
