A lil more of the trip

Hey there! So I'm still enjoying this fun and peaceful trip to Houston. Still not a whole lot to report because I'm not here doing too much. I'm just finally getting a chance to spend some time with me and it's wonderful. I missed me and glad we were able to get a chance to catch up! Oh, well one thing I can tell you is Quinnton mom and dad has been cooking like everyday and it has been so good! It is really awesome and I appreciate it so much.

Oh yea, we went to church today. When I tell you that was the longestttttttt preacher i ever heard in my life. He was really good but it was just long. He preached probably for an hour and fifteen minutes. Now where they do that at?!? It was an experience though and I'm glad I could take part of it. I don't think it's something I would be able to do every Sunday, lol, but I would definitely visit. After that we just chilled at Quinnton mama house of course and his dad cooked some gumbo.

Ummmm... besides that... Oh! I wrote a letter to my mom saying all the things I been telling y'all that I been feeling about getting control back of my life. It was a nice letter, very straight to the point but in a nice way. I'm still going to talk to her in person too but I wrote that so all points can be addressed. I don't know if she will be mad or cutting me off or what, so with my letter I can get it all out at that one time and address it afterwards. I'm still not giving it to her until after her wedding but it does feel so much better to have it put out on paper. I hope she is cool with everything... I'm leaving very soon. I'm so ready, lol.

My inspiration for today actually came from Quinnton's aunt Dee. She said in church today for "God not to remover her mountains, but make her strong enough to go over them." I thought about that thing for a little while and wondered why she didn't just want the mountain to be gone all together. Then it finally clicked and it made so much sense. Him moving the mountain will be the easy way out for us, which is what we always want. What about when we get to the next mountain? We always gonna be weak ad sit praying and crying. The lord wants us to grow in him and get stronger as the day gets longer. Him making us strong enough to go over will have us able to beat that problem in the future. It makes up able to control other problems more easy and feel we have the strength to do that. Then we will be able to face bigger problems and ask for even more strength to get pass those problems. That's what we all need to pray for, no matter how strong you think you are... none of us has what God has. Try him one time and see how much stronger you will be. As always you guys... remember the Alamo!

First time in Houston

Well actually it's my first time in Texas all together and I must say, this city was not what I expected. Lol, someone told me that it was not country like the rest of Texas and was an actual city. That's a lie... it is just as country as every other part to me! It looks like a bigger Jacksonville with maybe four or five more sky scrapers. They even have a highway that circles the city just like 295 in Jacksonville. I know a lot of cities have those but it just put me even more in the mind of Jax. However, I still like the city. It's very nice, just not what I expected.

My day was pretty cool once I got here. I got to the airport at 11:30 this morning and didn't make it to Houston until about 5:15, so you know I was pretty sick of planes. I also was super hungry!! I was so glad to get to someones house and get something to eat. I went to meet my extended family this year and was very glad to do so. So far everyone is really cool and I like being around them all. The food that I got at the first house was not too good but when I went to the second it was awesome!!! I want some more right now actually, lol. I'm addicted to ham.

Im settled back in the hotel right now and just laying in the bed resting up. I guess I don't have much to talk about today because I spent so much time flying, lol. But I can tell you that it was a really good day once I got here and I like everyone I met so far. I look forward to another good day tomorrow and some good shopping! You know it's black Friday! Well my words of encouragement for tonight... "Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror." -Byrd Baggett. We need to stop dwelling on our past and getting upset at the mistakes we made. Let's focus on our goals and dreams and keep pushing until you get to the top. Don't let anything stop your journey... even yourself. As always my lovely people... remember the Alamo!

Best News Ever!!

I have been out of it for the past few days. I have had a series of ups and downs and been too exhausted to hop online. I can say the downs weren't too bad though, I think I'm mostly just anxious to leave. But during all of this crazy time I did receive some of the most exciting information I have had in a while.

I was at work and literally finished tutoring one of my students (Sydney) like five seconds before my phone rung. I did not expect at all to hear who I heard on the other end of the phone. Her name was Shuchi and she is a BIG TIME stylist from New York. I mean she is super big, she works with a lot of agencies and celebrities, most notably Wilhelmina Models and styling Day 26. Well to make a long story short, I wrote her about a month ago because I was going to try and shoot with a New York photographer when I went up there two weeks ago. Well she didn't call me back and I honestly forgot about it. Well when she called me two days ago she told me that she was really interested in me. She said that she thinks I have what it takes (the height,weight, and look) and really would like to help me. She wanted me to come shoot with her still. That's when I told her I was back in Jacksonville but planned on moving up there the beginning of the year. She said that that was a great idea and a wonderful move. She then went on to say she would help me further. She wants to shoot in the middle of January and she wants to introduce me to some of the agencies she works with and help me get in the door. DO you know how exciting that is?? Something like this can be the start to something great!

That's all I been thinking about really so I don't remember much else that has happened for the past few days, lol. Physically I am still here in Jacksonville, but mentally I have already checked out and moved to NYC. Bu t yea... that's what I really wanted to share tonight, all the other stuff hasn't mattered, lol. I'm so happy!

Oh yea, I'm going to Houston tomorrow for Thanksgiving... this should be interesting! I'll let y'all know how this goes. It's my first trip sown there and I really don't know what to expect yet.I'll be there until Tuesday night so hopefully this will be an eventful trip. So let me go get some sleep for this trip and I will talk to y'all tomorrow and let you know how my first day went. As always my words of encouragement... "I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day." - Abraham Lincoln. This is awesome to me because it sounds how I like to live my life, just free and do things to my best ability. You don't need a guideline to know how to live your life the way you want it to. Be you and be happy! And as always, remember the Alamo.

Time to go back to the real world :-/

Hey wuzzup? How are y'all doing today? Well today was a really good day for me! I'm in like one of the best moods I think I have been in for a long time. It feels great to feel this good, lol. I started to feel like the old me and it made me want to stay up all night... that's why I'm still up watching TV. Not because I'm not tired but I don't want this day to come to an end. Crazy I know, but that's how I'm feeling.

I went to church today and it was awesome. I honestly think that I have the best pastor in the world! He always makes the word so personal and so easy to understand. It inspires me ever Sunday and gives me more fuel for that following week. But I think the choir did well overall, the word was great, and the spirit was heavy in there. My three year old nephew even went and prayed for my grandma foster son, lol. So you know the spirit was moving! First lady invited us to her house for Thanksgiving also but I can't make it because I'm going to Houston. I'm trying to spend the least amount of time in Jax as possible, lol.

Let's see, after that I went to my cousin house and helped her change the cable boxes between her son room and the living room. It was cool bcs that only took like two seconds and we spent the rest of the time just talking. Just me, grandma, Tiana, and Quinnton. It was awesome. You know I never have time to do this regularly so when I get the opportunity, I'm extremely grateful.We talked about everything that's been going lately and how to make things better. I was given great advice (as always) and plan to use it asap. After that we all decided to go out to eat together at Picadilly (:-/) after Tiana's son Brendan got fitted for his tux.

The food wasn't as bad as I remembered. It seemed to actually be seasoned now and they gave you a lot more food! So I didn't have anything to complain about this time, lol. What made the trip better than the food though was just continuing the conversation we had earlier at Tee-Tee house. I think these conversations we have daily are the only thing keeping me same. It is my little piece of gold everyday! Lol.

But yea, after that I just chilled at the house really for the rest of the day. I been watching tv and updating m resume all night. The Real Housewives of Atlanta is one of the funniest shows out. They are so ignorant and so funny.... especially that Phaedra. I feel so bad for her baby and hope social services step in real soon! Lol. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you need to catch a marathon of this season one of these days. The show is hilarious and I recommend you watch at least one episode and familiarize yourself with it. My resume also looks great. You know I had to re-do that just in case for when I move  to NYC and wanna find me something part- time. I think it looks really nice and I seem rather important. Lol. But it really is nice.

That's pretty much all I did today... just another day where I got to do what I wanted. It's so great to have time to take a breather. I really enjoyed today and will be going to be bed very happy! Pray for me also that everything go okay in traffic court tomorrow. I know the Lord is on my side so hopefully everything is dropped bout this bull crap ticket. Well anyways you guys have a wonderful night and as always I leave you with a little food for thought... Ask yourself "what are you willing to sacrifice to become who you want to be? When you can answer this question, you have figured out the first key to success. :-) So like I said.... goodnight and always remember the Alamo!

So happy for the weekend!

Helllllllllllo! (In my Julia Child voice, lol). I am so excited it's the weekend and I finally got a chance to rest a little bit. I still got up today and did a lot of running but I did get to sleep in a little bit. I was starting to get a cold a day or two ago but I think it was just my body telling me to take my behind to sleep, lol! Well I did and now I am back in full force.

Today was a good day... mainly because I didn't have to go to work. It felt I great I must say... doing whatever I wanted and didn't have to go by someone else's schedule.I moved when I wanted, I took a shower when I wanted, and I left the house when I wanted. I finally felt free and I haven't felt that in a good while. It makes me realize why I don't like the job anymore... there's no time for DeAndre and the things he wants to do. My plate is getting too full now and some things need to be cleared off.

So anyways, in my wonderful day of freedom I went to my grandma house and sat over there for a few hours. It was great because I haven't been able to do that in a long time. I always have fun when I go there and feel really good when I leave. Her and my big cousin Tiana are constantly encouraging all the choices I want to make and really give some great advice. But it was fun because besides all that deep stuff, lol, we were bothering the ADT people as they tried to sell some new security equipment to my grandma. It was really funny. Oh yea, I forgot the best thing that happened!!! I found out that my grandmother cooked hamburger helper, minus the hamburger, and substituted it with sliced honey baked ham!! Isn't that delicious?!? Lol. That was the funniest thing I have like ever heard! See, I told you... good times at grandma house. Lol.

After that I wanted to get a tattoo but I couldn't think of what else I wanted. I know I want to get a really big one with portrait work but that cost like $400 and I'm not trying to pay that right now. So I was going to get something a little cheaper for now but couldn't think of anything else to get. Maybe later this week, I dunno. So since that didn't happen, I decided to just go to the mall and see the new Forever 21 store here. I must say that I was EXTREMELY disappointed after visiting the stores in NYC. In NYC, the mens sections were two floors big and here in Jacksonville, we had a nice little corner. I tell you... things aren't fair for us guys who love clothes! My heart was heart so I left the mall, lol.

I then rode to the Town Center for like a second but left right out. I never stay out there too long... it's not much to see. It is a few nice stores out there. But I left and went to TGI Friday's and had some good good food and got good good drunk, lol. They are one of the places I know I can always go and never get disappointed. I hat the Jack Daniels chicken and shrimp.. so awesome! I recommend it to like everyone! I want some more actually myself... like right now.

Well I guess that brings us to right now. I have been home and watching a South Park marathon about "Coon and Friends." It's awesome because Kenny is talking about how he dies all the time and nobody ever notices, lol. He says his super power is that he really can't die, he just always wakes back up in his bed. I know a lot of people think this show is ignorant but I think it is hilarious. But yea.. I'm also online searching in NYC for different little part-time jobs and apartments. It's a lot of promising things showing up so far so let's pray that I can find something good.

But anyways, I am going to get back into this South Park for a little while and look at some more apartments in NYC. I'm trying to find something soon so I can already have it set up when we go up north. I know that God will make a way and make everything work in my favor so I am thanking him in advance. And as always my little food for thought... Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got. Let that sink in a little bit and I will talk to y'all later :-) As always... remember the Alamo!

Hello... I missed you blog!

Hey there! Missed me last night? Yea I know... lol. But no, I was so sleepy that I like passed out. I was trying to get up to write a blog post but my body just told me "Hell No!!" So I was forced to go into a deep slumber :-( But any who... I am back and ready to talk about some things.

Today was a very productive day around the house. I cleaned up my house so nicely!! I promise you, when I got out my bad, there was so many pieces of clothing on my floor I couldn't see any carpet. Today I finally felt like it was enough. I cleaned the whole house from the front door to the back. Ummm... well... there's no back door but you know whatI mean! Lol. Oh yea I did leave just a few small things for Quinnton to do, I couldn't take all the fun ya know? But it really looks great now and I am proud of my work. Next step is the garage but I'm in no hurry to hop on that one.

What else? Oh I went to my fun and exciting job!!!! No but really I did have to go to work and needless to say I was happy when 6:00 hit. I was so happy to get off early today. It wasn't exactly the "A" squad in there, lol. I'm just counting down the days now until I can tell my mom about the big move. Her wedding is December 4th, so anytime after that will be fair game I think. Until then.. I'll be going to school and then tutoring all night.

I think the biggest issue with the whole thing is that I don't get any time for me. I don't even have time in my schedule to do homework regularly so I have to get up extra early in the morning just to do that. SO as of right now my schedule consist of waking up everyday at 7:30 to do homework, go to class about 10:00, right after that go straight to work, and when I get off try to make any meetings I may have. This usually has me getting home about 11:00 or 11:30  and I cant get to sleep until about 2:00. Then I do the same thing the next day... talk about exhausting! There so many thing that I want to do that I can't because I can't get it in my schedule and I feel it's so unfair. I want to take acting classes, modeling, dance, and karate. That's the stuff I want to be bust doing... things of my choice.

I know it's right around the corner though. At first it just seemed like a dream but I can now see the finish line. I know the life that I want to have and I know I deserve so I'm going to stop settling for less. I'm going to stop living safe and by others rules. It's time to take a stand and time to listen to DeAndre. He's been ignored a little too long and he's starting to get pissed! Lol.  But in all seriousness, I think Maria Robinson said it best when she stated "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but everyone can start today and make a new ending." I think this quote is awesome and powerful all in itself, no  need in explanation. So everyone have a beautiful nigh and as always, remember the Alamo!

I'm still here!!

Hey!!!! So I have made it to day too, lol. Some people might think that's nothing but thats a huge accomplishment for me... always being so busy and having to actually sit here and do this; I'm proud of me!

But any who.. today was an okay day, not too eventful. Let's see... well first I had a doctor's appointment to go to this morning at 8:45. Is it just me or do they make you come an extra 30 minutes early just to look stupid in the waiting room? IDK. But what else? Oh, I went to class which I'm starting to hate and glad the semester is almost over. It's a reading class that teaches teachers ho to teach reading in their content area (a lot... I know). At the beginning it started out okay but now it seems to drag on and on and on......... Today I left out of class and just walked campus for a little bit because I couldn't take anymore. The bright side to that story though was we did get out of class like an hour early today; I was most grateful for that! Shortly after that I had to go to work which was okay today. I had my good kids so they didn't work my nerves, lol. The day went by pretty fast. I'm still tired of the job though... today was just more tolerable than others... don't think my feelings have changed.

After doing this all day and not getting off until 9:00, which sows you I had no time for myself, I just came home and daydreamed about moving to New York. I was online looking at different modeling websites and Craiglist for apartment listings, lol. I think that was the highlight of my day actually (sad I know). I'm just ready to get out of Jax so bad that it's like eating me alive! I was so close to telling my mom today that I wanted to move but couldn't do it. I said I will wait a little longer because she is renewing her vows in like 2 weeks with my dad so I didn't want to "ruin" that for her. So I decided to save it until after the wedding. I still just want to get it off my chest :-(

Well that's basically how my life went today, like I said nothing too special. I had just a real exhausting day mentally. I know tomorrow will be better, I'm claiming it right now. I like to live by the James Dean quote which says "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." I think that's so important because we need to learn to cherish life and stop doing what others want us to do and live for ourselves. But that's another conversation for another day. So right now I'll leave you and head to my dreamland where I see my picture hanging in the middle of Times Square... I know it's coming soon. And as always until next time... remember the Alamo! Goodnight.

Day 1: The Start

Hey what's up? So.... I've decided to give this a try and see where this leads me in life. No specific plans for it... no guides... just me and my thoughts. I've had so much on my mind lately and it seems like its filing my head up... I have people that I can talk to but sometimes I can't reach them or I feel I just can't tell them everything so I guess this is my outlet (pretty private right?). 

Today was a bitter sweet day for me, having to leave NYC. That was probably the best trip I ever took in my life. I had to come back to Jacksonville and get back to reality :-(. But you know what... I realize more and more everyday that this isn't my reality... it's just what Im settling for. Well I'm tired of settling... I want control back over my life and want to do what makes me happy. I enjoy working for my moms company but it's not what I want to be doing right now. I do plan on one day running her business and taking it own helping it to grow when she is done with it, but not today. I am 23 and have my whole life ahead of me. It's just too structured and I feel as though my youth is being snatched from me. I don't say it to her because I don't want her to feel bad but I feel like I'm getting old too quickly. There's not much time for me to enjoy myself in my schedule. I enjoy going to school but I don't think this is the school for me. Granted, I love all of the people I met so far and they are some of the most awesome people I know, I still feel as though I just don't belong there... like I don't fit in. But it's not necessarily a bad thing... I think my style and my life is just so much more different than theirs. I just need a change of pace.

But on to a lighter side (I promise this won't be a depressing blog, lol) let's talk about the life I do want. I want to be a big time model, actor, and performer. I love to do all these things and they really are my passion. I could wake up everyday... go to these jobs... and be perfectly happy with my life. I have done a lot of things recently to build up my modeling career and I think that they will be paying off very soon.It just takes patience and the right people.. hopefully I meet them soon, lol. As for the acting, I do think I have natural talent but I still want to improve on it. I am thinking about seeing an acting coach and really get god at it. I want y'all t see me on the big screen soon :-) I also want t perform like in an Alvin Ailey show one day or on Broadway. I just seen Wicked this past weekend and it inspired me so much to go after my dream. During the whole play, I could see myself down there on the stage dancing and going at it with all of those people! It was awesome!

What I think makes these things even better is the fact that I don't want to do it for the money. Granted I want to be rich, lol, I just want to do things I enjoy and have fun with life. I think with that mentality, I will always enjoy what I do. My main goal to get there right now is moving to NYC. I think me and Jacksonville have run our course and it's time for me to push on.It's so much opportunity there and I know I have the drive to make it. I'm taking my little brother with me too so he can work on his music career. He is really great at it (rapping) and he just needs the right one to hear his music. I know in time, he's gonna blow up and be the next big thing. I'm really proud of him. The only thing we have to do though is break it to our mom... just don't know how well that will go. I know she wants the best for us but sometimes she doesn't see or understand the paths we want to take for ourselves. It won't be hard butI'm trying to build myself up to tell her about it. Maybe y'all will be hearing about how well that will be very soon. 

Well, it's getting pretty late and I got to get up early in the morning so let me go. I know my post is kinda long tonight (sorry) but most of the time it probably won't be. Sometimes long, sometimes short, sometimes exciting, sometimes funny, sometimes whatever... I guess it just depends on the day I have.  So until next time... remember the Alamo! Lol